I miss you, Dad!

While I was writing this post, I know that it's too late to write something because it almost 4.04 A.M here. But, I don't know, I just can't sleep and I don't know what to do.
Everyday, every week, every month, always like this.
Why I always stay up late , so late like this.
I hate it!
I just wanna sleep but I can't.
And every time I try to get out of it, It just started to be something .. something that I don't know how to say it.. homesick maybe.
I miss my family! I miss my Mom, Dad, my sister and my brothers .. all of them.
and today, suddenly I just stop and cry!
Try to message my dad.. and all out just: Hi, dad! How are u? I miss you.. I miss home!
OMG! What happened with you Claudia!
You're not supposed to be like this or you are..
I just think that 4 years far from family is too long. I just wanna back home now!
Why can't I finished my study now and just fly back home.
I just wanna stay at home, spend my time with my family, the most people that I love.
Play with them, eat dinner together, go to church together every Sunday, and have late night talk especially with my Dad.
We can talk about anything, start from my life here, his works, about country, governor, president, even artist, tv show, or music like dangdut or anything.
I just miss it so much..
it's true you'll miss someone if you are not with them if you're far far away ..
just two or three months did not talk with him it's like long long time ..
Just seized the time you have with your family, you'll miss it when you are somewhere far from them
just like me now.

Terima Kasih dan salam kenal, Claudia Audiana Anak jakarta yang pengen banget punya bisnis sendiri *kalau ada masukkan atau kerjasama monggo contact saya :) *

Sendiri

Aku tau kenapa kamu memilih untuk 'sendiri' sekarang ini dan selama ini.
Bukan karena tidak ada pria yang mencoba mendekati mu atau mengiginkanmu.
Tapi...
Kamu memilih untuk 'sendiri' karena kamu masih merasa sakit.
Sakit karena luka yang bahkan kamu sendiri tidak menyadarinya. Luka yang kamu pikir akan hilang setelah menangis semalaman dan membiarkan matamu bengkak keesokan harinya.
Luka yang sudah lama ada, yang kamu sendiri mengira luka itu sudah kering dan sembuh tapi ternyata luka itu masih basah.
Luka yang kamu kira sudah hilang...hilang di balik setiap senyum dan tawa mu, ternyata tidak. Luka itu masih ada.
Sekarang aku tau. Kamu memilih untuk 'sendiri', bukan karena tidak ada pria yang tidak mencoba untuk mendekatimu, bukan karena keenggananmu untuk mencoba dekat dengan pria lain, bukan juga karena kamu masih menunggu dia.
Tapi.. kamu sedang berusaha untuk menyembuhkan luka itu.


#CL